Child and Adolescent Clinic - Correcting the Sitter

Ask Dr. Sue

CORRECTING THE SITTER

Dear Dr. Sue,

My daughter is just nine months old. My husband and I are very particular about her diet; we don’t want her to have high fat foods or junk food at all. I’ve discussed this with my sitter, but last week I walked in to find her giving the baby french fries. I didn’t say anything at the time, because I didn’t know what to say. This woman is a wonderful sitter in every other way, and we sure don’t want to lose her, but this really matters to us. What would you advise? (By the way, we have some of the same problems with my in-laws. They recently fed her gravy, another thing we don’t want her to have.)

Dear Mom,

This is the sort of situation that you can’t avoid if you have someone else provide care for your child at times (and who doesn’t?). It doesn’t matter whether the care-giver is a sitter, your in-laws, or your own parents, there are going to be some differing viewpoints about child care. There are two issues that you should think about here. The first is that, as your daughter’s parents, you have the right to decide what is best for her. You have the right to provide those things that you feel should be in her life and prohibit other things. The second issue is that good sitters are hard to find (and loving grandparents are worth more than rubies!)

It is important that you balance these two issues carefully. You are right to not make a scene over a french fry or a little bit of gravy. When you walk in and find your daughter being given something you disapprove of, it wouldn’t hurt to say cheerfully, “Oh, remember, we aren’t feeding her things like that yet.” Avoid whisking her our of reach of the offending food as if it’s dangerous, but calmly get her ready to go home as you normally would.

It probably would be a good idea to decide to accept these little dietary adventures for your daughter, anyway. In the grand scheme of her overall intake, an occasional fatty food, or greasy food, or sugary food isn’t going to make or break her nutritional status. You are still, I assume, the one who chooses her breakfast and dinner and bedtime snack, as well as some of her lunches during the week. The fact that those foods are missing at home more than makes up for an occasional lapse. Remember, throughout her life she is going to be fed things that you might not approve of, whether it’s the corn dog in the school lunch, candy given as a reward at school, or the cake at a birthday party. The good news is that she will grow up with the nutritional groundwork you are providing, and that she will have a tendency to incorporate your standards over her entire life, including when she’s feeding her own children.

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