|
|
||||||
|
Ask Dr. Sue
INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE
Dear Mom,
Children in violent homes are at risk from the very beginning of their lives. Pregnant women are particularly likely to be beaten, and may have miscarriages as a result. Pregnant women and those who were recently pregnant are more likely to die because of homicide than from any other cause, and frequently the attacker is their intimate partner. (3) Abused women are also more likely to have complications during the process of giving birth, possibly because they are less likely to have regular, timely prenatal care. They are also more likely to use tobacco, drink alcohol and use drugs during pregnancy. (4) Babies in their mother's arms have often been hit accidentally when the blow was intended for the mother. They have even been torn from their mother's arms and thrown to the floor, sometimes with fatal results. A national survey of over 6000 families revealed that 50 percent of men who frequently abused their partner also frequently abused their children. (1) Also, women who are being abused are at least twice as likely to abuse their children themselves than women who are not abused.
In addition, one study found that one fourth to one third of men who batter their intimate partners also sexually abuse their children. (6) Even when the children themselves are not physically harmed, however, there can be very real damage occurring. Children may be very confused by what they are witnessing, and may feel that they need to side with one parent or the other. They may feel the need to protect their mother (and adolescent males in particular may try to step between the abuser and the victim and end up being injured themselves). They certainly will suffer from the anxiety of trying to decide what they should do, and whether or how badly their mother is hurt.
What about the long term effects?
Many studies have been done to evaluate the outcome of children who were witnesses of domestic violence.
Most show that children growing up in homes in which one
parent is abused are likely to have lower self-esteem
and are more likely to suffer
from depression. In fact, they are six times more
likely to attempt suicide than children from nonviolent
homes. (4) They sometimes develop posttraumatic
stress disorder or anxiety disorder. They are 50 percent
more likely to abuse drugs. (4) Girls who are
exposed to partner abuse
are more likely to get pregnant unintentionally.
Children of either sex are more likely to use violence in school or elsewhere, since violence is what they see
modeled at home. Boys are more apt to abuse their
own intimate partners later in life, no matter how
horrified they may be at
what they see now. (5) Girls are more likely to be
battered in their own intimate relationships. (6)
By the way, It isn't only adult women who
are being abused. It has become increasingly clear
that teenage girls are at risk for abuse in their
earliest relationships with men. Even worse, there appears to be a growing sentiment among teens of both
sexes that abuse is a normal part
of intimate relationships. A 2006 study funded by
Liz Claiborne Inc. (7) revealed that a significant
number were or had been in a relationship with someone
who "acted really jealous and asked where they were all
the time." 20% of girls in a "serious"
relationship have been hit, slapped or pushed by their boyfriend. 14 % have been told they would be
harmed or their boyfriend would harm himself if they
broke up with him. (In 7% that threat was to kill
them or to kill himself!) One third of teens who
had been in a serious relationship had feared being hurt
physically by their boyfriend or girlfriend. Many
teens in the survey indicated that it was okay for a
significant other to be very jealous and to take charge
of decisions. In another survey eight percent of
high school girls said
that a boyfriend or date had forced them to have sex
against their will. (8) There are two pieces of good news for children who are in the position yours are. First, there are some factors that appear to influence how much effect domestic violence has on the later lives of children who witness it. If the children themselves are not abused, the impact on them is less drastic than if they both witness and endure abuse. (9) Also, children who have a close and loving relationship with their mother appear to fare better, as do children who live in a stable environment with other available social supports (such as extended family, church or other community supports). (10) Do what you can to ensure these safeguards for your children.
You owe it to yourself and to your
children to have a network of support and a plan
available in case you ever need it.
|
|||||
|
This site best viewed in 1024 x 768 or above with Active Content enabled. Copyright 2006 Child & Adolescent Clinic, PC. All Rights Reserved. Questions, comments, suggestions? Contact "webcreator at pacifier dot com"
|
||||||
