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Ask Dr. Sue
NAIL BITING
Dear Dr. Sue,
My four year old daughter has recently started biting
her nails obsessively. She chews them down to the
quick! I'd like to help her now before this
becomes a lifelong problem (I have a sister who still
chews her nails badly). Do you have any advice?
I've heard of the nasty-tasting stuff that you apply to
their nails, but I don't know where to find it or
whether it works or how safe it is to use at her age.
Dear Mom,
Nail biting is probably the most common of the so-called
nervous habits (others include hair twirling, nose
picking, thumb sucking, and tooth grinding). It
also seems to be the most likely one to persist into
adulthood.
Parents of nail biters often wonder if their child has
emotional problems or is overwhelmed with stress.
The reality is that most of them are just suffering from
day to day anxieties typical for their age, like whether
the other kids like them and why their younger sibling
is so adorable that everyone comments on it. I
would be more concerned (and advise an appointment) if
your daughter is chewing so forcefully that her finger
tips bleed or her fingers become chronically inflamed
and swollen near the base of the nail. Also look
for other stress-related symptoms like pulling out
eyelashes, picking at her skin to the point of injury,
changes in sleep or appetite or unusual clinginess or
tearfulness. I would also ASK her if anything is
bothering her. Does she like her preschool
teacher? Is anyone picking on her at preschool?
Has her childcare provider been crankier? Is she
worried about anyone in the family?
The "nasty-tasting" stuff that you mention usually
doesn't work, for several reasons. First, the
relaxing feelings produced by the nail biting usually
outweigh the negative effect of the taste. Secondly,
it's amazing what people can get used to, and sooner or
later most children seem to adapt to the flavor.
Thirdly, putting this stuff on her fingernails will feel
to her like a punishment, even if you don't mean it that
way, and may increase her need for self-soothing.
The compound that I have seen for nail biting includes
cayenne pepper, which you don't want in her eyes.
It's probably safe as long as she's old enough to
remember not to rub her eyes. (However, I wouldn't
use it for the above reasons.)
Nagging, which you may have already tried, usually
doesn't work either. This is because her nail
biting is most likely an unconscious habit, and it's
nearly impossible to stop something you are not aware of
doing.
At her age I would advise nothing more than the
following:
-
Keep her nails cut very short, and
try to keep hangnails to an absolute minimum.
(For hangnails, 1% hydrocortisone works great but is
not something you want in her mouth. Try
nightly Vaseline application until she chews her
nails less regularly, and then you can try the
cortisone very sparingly once a day, rubbing it in
well.)
-
Keep her hands busy doing something
else at times when she usually bites her nails.
These times might include while watching television,
while riding in the car, or during other fairly
mindless activities. Have things like silly
putty, a "Koosh" ball, finger puppets, or paper
dolls handy to offer her before she starts chewing
on her nails.
-
Praise her if you catch her NOT
biting her nails at a time she normally would, but
don't overdue it, since you don't want a huge amount
of focus on the behavior. A simple comment
like, "Hey, I noticed you didn't bite your nails the
whole first half of Sesame Street, you're making
your nails happy today," would suffice.
Your daughter will be most likely to stop
biting her nails when she develops the desire to stop.
This is most likely to happen once she's in school, if
the other children make fun of her habit or of the way
her nails look. Even when she's ready to stop, the
habit will be hard to break. You can help by
making her aware of WHEN she's biting her nails.
Develop a code word that you will use if you see her
chewing on them. Another wonderful technique is
well-described by Billy Pennal, PhD. in his book
Raising Children: A Common-Sense Psychological Guide to
Behavior Modification published in 1997 only on the
internet (see it at www2.itexas.net/~BillPen/Children.htm).
When his young daughter wanted to stop chewing her
nails, he gave her a wristwatch-style golf scorekeeper
to wear (available for $5 and up at sporting goods
stores). Every time she noticed herself touching
her face with either hand she was to give herself a
point. Every night the two of them plotted her
score on a graph. This served to make the nail
biting behavior less and less unconscious, and the
process itself was fun and rewarding for his daughter
(rather than punishing). Best of all, it worked!
You might also allow fingernail polish as soon as any
white is visible on her fingernails, and a bigger prize
when you actually have to get out the fingernail
clippers and cut her nails.
Some adult nail biters comment that they are able to
control the habit by always having clippers with them,
so that if something about their nails annoys them they
can get rid of it immediately. It might be worth
adopting their technique and helping her to replace
biting behavior with clipping behavior.
 
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